Friday, December 25, 2009

Sometimes you just need to get away with the girls

It was such a nice holiday - full of shopping, food and laughs. What more could I have asked for. It was nice to laugh with the girls again.

I am so reminded of Sex and the City. Our catching up felt very much like the upcoming movie. Good moments are to be treasured and time passes real quick when there're good moments.

Funny Moments:
1. Edmund's nose bled when Jay Chow appeared on stage at Pavilion. Just like an automatic reaction, almost.
2. Jokes/riddles about Zebra with Angelene and Moon
3. G-Spot exploration with Travis, Sherly, Angelene and Moon. I hope he finds it eventually.
4. Well of course, I hope the couple in question sneezed a number of times...coz we did talk about them a number of times.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


"We do no market research. We just want to make great products." - Steve Jobs, CEO & Co-founder, APPLE.

No wonder there are so many versions of iPods and it took them several versions of iPhone to have the MMS function and still, a crappy camera!

Yay no market research.


What would I do - if I were a hairdresser?

I was having a haircut the other and I started smiling a little bit as my thoughts turned. It was not due to the haircut I was getting, as it was not Yudai who cut my hair. I was thinking - if I were a hairdresser, not a terribly good one, I was imagining myself cutting my clients hair inch by inch. Whenever the hair did not look right, I cut it further. Whenever there was a kink that I did not know how to smooth, I chopped it. Whenever the texture was not desirable, Alfred Scissorshand came to play. Eventually all my clients left my saloon with either crew cut or they were bald.


Saturday, November 14, 2009


When does it start and when does it fade? Is an obsession replaceable only by another?

It is such a love-hate relationship with obsession (or addiction to that matter). You want to quit on one hand yet the other wants to keep on going. You know you are getting nothing of out it yet you secretly yearn for the impossible to happen.

Oprah once defined giving up to be where there was no longer any hope to change. When will taking action towards achieving the goal become annoying and in turn reduce the rate of success? There is no answer to this question. One can only try and hope (what a useless word?).

I didn't like MC's Obsessed until now.

Dedicated to my lover269...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I am in a very dark place today

Almond set me off this morning. Felt good whilst punishing her this morning. I had hated that dog for a long long time. Though I was left feeling something was still quite wrong.

Then I lost my temper again with Mom in the afternoon when teaching her Excel. I easily blew my temper. I just couldn't find an extra ounce of patience in me. I think Mom was very upset by my attitude she voice quivered. I dared not look at her and forced myself not to feel guilty. Mom must have been broken hearted that her son was so rude to her.

Then at home I lashed out at my brother again. I hit him with a shirt when I was folding laundry. He cried. My heart broke very quickly yet there's a part of me that disallowed me to show my emotions.

I am very unhappy. I don't know what else I will do or not do. Killing Almond is definitely one of the things top of my list.

How do I fix myself? I need to make things work. I need to.

Monday, July 27, 2009

If you really need all matching-matchy...

I do think that it's quite genius... Next time I'll just buy a Small for bottom and Large for top.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


Don't understand why would demons possess weak human being if they want to show vengeance to god or to take over the world... And all they do with the possesed humans is scream, cry, yell in different languages and voices... What's the purpose? What do they want by doing that? Conquer the world? I dunno why don't they just possess Obama/Clinton/Osama/Hussien? Start apocalypse by possessing a bunch of wild angry oxes/tigers/lions/elephants will also do the job nicely.

Demons are useless: they succumb when a priest yells "I command you in the name of god". Yea, a demon is supposed to be scared of that. I think that kind of yelling from Mom stopped working on me when I was older then 8 or 9. A demon, who's supposed to be more powerful than I am, is scared of that? Beats me. Not only they are useless, they are stupid - why not just kill the exorcist immediately whilst waiting to be spritzed with holy water?

I believe a lot of unanswered phenomenas are the result of our brain and evolution. Some people's brains are better and some aren't. Some short-circuit more easily, some are smarter. Stop thinking we're so special - we're just apes with lots of Nairs used to wax off our hair.

Monday, June 22, 2009


It is discriminatory! Or plain stupid?

Has anyone else watched a DVD, when choosing subtitles, and is taken aback when it says "English (for the hearing impaired)".

Oh excuse me thank you very much. My ears are working just fine. Are they saying unless you have 100% perfect hearing you can't watch a movie with subtitles? Cue rolling eyes please.

And, and, and, this insult is double-fold as it is only hurled at people who supposedly think they can converse in English. If you don't understand English and are French, you don't get insulted for your limited command of the English language or limited ear drums perhaps. Same goes for the German, the Japanese and the Arabian.

If we use the logic of deduction, where the
First statement is A person whose mother tongue isn't English needs subtitles,
Second statement is A person who needs subtitles have impaired hearing,
Conclusion must be A person whose mother tongue isn't English has impaired hearing!

Go figure. Now can I sue Dreamworks, Warners Brothers and all other production studios?

Friday, June 12, 2009

A Melody I Start but CAN'T Complete

Coming second is really the worst and I can be a spokeperson for coming second. After watching all her performances, 符琼音 had no reason to be number 2.

Beyonce sings: A Melody I Start and I Will Complete
符琼音 sings: A Melody I Start but Can't Complete

When will I find my own....


Wednesday, June 10, 2009


KL International Airport has been awarded "Best Immigration Service" in the World Airport Awards.

It is no surprise because if one's incoming record can be made mysteriously disappear off the official record whilst one's remain is found in the country somewhere in the jungle, KLIA definitely provides the best immigration service. For those who wish to have a Switzerland (not in the banking sense) in South East Asia, those who wish their identities to be masked completely, please please visit Malaysia and use KLIA (not bloody LCCT).

Or, if one has previously made a statutory declaration claiming serious allegation towards some government officials, and now one has allegedly fled the country, one's immigration details will not be found in KLIA's immigration database.

It really is that good.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Betty Bowers

Perhaps the new Desperate Housewive? LOL.

Saturday, May 16, 2009


I hope my friends (you know who you are) are enjoying this album as much as I do that I am about to cry. If I could marry Chris Martin I would love Apple more than Gwyneth would. LOL. His flawless falsetto and low-key register just keep blowing me away.

This is one thing that I just love about Coldplay - that they are not that commercial. Their singles often can be downloaded free and some proceeds donated to charity. This album is also downloadable FOC

Songs that make me on the verge of crying: Fix You, Viva La Vida (possibly the greatest recording EVER) and The Hardest Thing
The purpose of the free album was to show gratitude to fans. The band stated that "playing live is what we love" and that the album is "a thank you to our fans – the people who give us a reason to do it and make it happen."

Would be so great listening to them live. One day.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Philosopically Desired

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Melbourne 360° Fashion Show 2009

My favourite label, possibly ever - Philosophy Men. I hate that I am not in Malaysia now =( I absolutely love their new collection. They should totally open a branch in Melbourne.

My favourite piece: the white stork/swan shirt.

When will I go back leh? For fashion? LOL.

Sums Up Pretty Much What I Feel Myself

I am taking this from Lucas, who left a comment on Bloggers and Sisters

There was once a great show called B&S,

Who had characters and stories of interest,
Then S3 came along, 
And even smoking a bong,
Didn't help make sense of this awful mess.

Our favourite, a lawyer named Kevin,
He loves Scotty, who's perfect without sin,
But Kevin left his job, 
To work for Robert the knob,
And his spirit was thrown in the bin.

Kevin had a sis named Kitty,
Who hardly used to wallow in pity,
Then she married a senator,
Whose ambitions wore thin on her,
Now they're both annoying and shitty.

Kitty had a bro named Justin,
Adorable with a cute dorky grin,
He overcame his addiction,
But had another affliction,
Dating a girl who was once his own kin.

Sister Sarah is bright and jolly,
Back to Ojai she goes for more folly,
She deserves a soulmate,
But right now on her plate,
Is Ryan and a tart named Holly.

Tommy Walker was always the dull son,
Then he turned into Schmuck No. 1,
Committed a crime, 
But didn't want to do time, 
So now he basks in the Mexican sun.

These kids' father was William Walker,
Who was an embezzling philanderer,
He was screwing Holly,
And suicidal Connie,
Thus spawned a creepy stalker.

William was married to Nora,
She was just like everyone's mama,
But now she's become, 
A mere parody of mom,
A real shame 'cos Sally deserves betta'.

And finally there's gay old Saul,
A wise brother and uncle to all,
He was once dating Henry,
But they threw out this story,
For a plotline that means sweet f**k all.

I tried to endure it but Season 3 of Brothers & Sisters was a big disappointment. There was only one memorable episode, Just A Sliver, where Kevin Walker sliced a piece of his liver for his niece, who's also his biological daughter. Other than that, the writers gave us contrived, unbelievable, illogical, discontinued and unjustified storylines for the rest of the season. Our beloved characters have been mauled and killed mercilessly. Perhaps I was watching a spin-off called Lost/B&S.

Many of the fans are mad because seasons 1 and 2 were just amazing and so loveable. Season 3 started to fail when the writers tried to maintain Rebecca on the show, by introducing a new pale teen vampire, Ryan. Since then, the show was buried way below six feet under. Tommy Walker and Robert MacCallister are also the two characters who are most disliked. Now we are rid of Tommy but can someone please also kill the Senator? I don't understand why Nora Walker, Kevin Walker, Sarah Walker, Saul Holden and Scotty Wandell had to be sacrificed to make way for unimportant supporting characters. What more, the most controversial and most hated character of all, Ryan Laferty, sucked the daylight out of the Walkers.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I just love her

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Banana and Egg

You ask what's the connection? Thanks to Siang Chin, I was totally struck in awe when she told me this idea!

You know how we call Chinese who are westernised - banana - yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

See where I am going with this? An egg person, is a caucasian/white/westerner, who is totallyor inclinde to be yellow, i.e. Chinese, on the inside!

Friday, May 08, 2009

You Can't Help But Smile

Can we do it at Flinders St Station? Or Southern Cross (since it's bigger)?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Some people are stupid, really...

I think I learn a lot from the Oprah Winfrey Show. Calling her a second Mother is really not an overstatement.

Apparently some Americans use paper plates for EACH AND EVERY MEAL they have. You wonder why the Chinese oppose that advanced countries like the US impose green energy restrictions on them. I remember when I was young, paper plates are only used when there's no water supply or when there was a party. They were, still are (in my family), considered sacred or treasured expensive items. 

It's obvious that using paper plates in such a way is wasteful, but it also shows a lack of education amongst people. We have come to an extent where material things come so easily that we don't appreciate things. I am no perfect too. But I think I have the right to condemn such wastage. I talked to my friend about this yesterday and he said we might have to think about the water used to clean plates. I did think about that but I think throwing away paper plates is more wasteful than washing plates. Just imagine how much energy has been used for a tree, the chopped down, processed and transported to stores; whereas a plate is made of clay then you reuse it infinitely many times. Water is also recycled more easily than growing a tree, I would imagine.

Talking about water - the Victorian Government has been asking Victorians to use less than 155l liters of water daily. I had been wondering about that until I received my latest bill. There are 3 in my apartment and we use 209 liters a day, which means less than 70 liters per person per day! That's even less than half of what is prescribed. I don't really understand why people take a long shower though - you get wrinkly skin? I mean, you can't wash away sin by splashing 20 litres of water on yourself.

I know the 70 liters consist of washing dishes, drinking water, washing laundry, shower and toilet. However it still daunts on me that I could easily splash 25 (roughly) bottles of 1-liter bottled water on myself daily. Why has the government never thought of such an advertisement to educate people from using water excessively. They could easily show the direct effect of "more wastage on shower, less water for drinking".

That brings me to bottled water - what's with this bottled-water drinking culture? What has happened to the good old boiling-water-n-a-kettle practice? If I remember correctly the statistics, million tonnes of plastic from bottled water are brought to landfill yearly. Millions!! Personally I can accept buying bottled water if you must, when you are outside. However, it totally overwhelms me when people have to do that when they are at home! Look at so many fridges in so many families, especially, from what I have seen, in the US, every fridge has bottled water! Let's not forget it's so easy to throw away unfinished water - that's another wastage. From family, moving on, to corporations - paper cups...

Some people are addicted to alcohol, some people are addicted to ice, some people are addicted to... papers.

Some people may not be stupid - they are ignorant.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Guess how much do these cost?

Each pair costs between $110 to $120. And they are for BABIES only....

Monday, May 04, 2009




Friday, May 01, 2009

Gotta Get Wed

For those whom I have shared the new song by The Black Eyed Pea, Boom Boom Pow, they will find this music video quite familiar, the first part anyway. 

Equal rights! Equal rights!!!!! Kevin Rudd needs to apologize to the stolen GAYneration! Everyone needs to come together, doesn't matter gay or straight or bi or asexual or transexual or pansexual or any-sexual. It's civil - not religious. You gotta have a say. Mark my words, if you don't stand up for equal rights, let's see what will happen when one day you are no longer free to choose what your religion is.

Thursday, April 30, 2009


I was a little bit shocked to find that there's such a thing called Freegan (from free and vegan) Freeganism is an anti-consumerist lifestyle whereby people employ alternative living strategies based on "limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources".

The world's most material girl, Madonna, has done quite so well in bringing us just that much closer to materialism. I am one hell of a big sinner too. Things things things. Separation does make the heart grow fonder! The longer I can't be with another thing, my heart just longs for it so bad. But as soon as a desire is satisfied, another one pops up just like pimples on a teenager's face.

On the Big O today, this woman, who was previously earning a 6-figure salary, gave up that life and started picking up food from dumpster. She even organised trash trips for people of the same interest. Such trips are not fancy trips with fancy drink but trips where you get closer to a possum or rodent, skill-wise speaking. What striked me the most, was that our society wastes so much. American, being 5% of the world population, consume 30% of the world's resources. Madeline and her troop could find buckets of food, loaves of bread, fresh fruits, muffins, cereal, salad and canned food from just a handful of dumpsters, mostly all from grocery stores.

Have you not picked an apple and seen a small dent on it and not purchased it eventually? I have. These perfectly fine fruit are thrown away, they are not even given to the poor or homeless (due to some restrictions). And how much food have I wasted? If I remember correctly, $30 BILLION of food is wasted annually in the US. Now wouldn't it timely if the CEOs of failed companies started embracing freegan lifestyle?

Consumerism, I think, is a more serious problem than drug or alcohol addiction. It is a problem that is so serious but it lives under our skin so comfortably that we don't even realise it. I am sure there are lots of things that I don't need in my life. Looking at the bigger picture, we are digging our own graves and hauling our asses into them too. One the one hand, we scream to preserve the nature; on the other, the economy would stop now that it has become so reliable on consumerism, if people don't buy new clothes for 3 years, like Madeline.

One very good example, products from Apple - all the pods. Even better example, cell phones. I have always wondered, how the heck are we going to save electricity if everyone has a cell phone now? Or iPod, or just any electronic gadgets that are bombarding the market daily. Or TV, it used to be that one family had one, but now every room in a family has one too. There's only so much switching off all electronic devices can do in terms of saving electricity. There are 2 fridges in my apartment.

Back to myself, living as a freegan is probably my ideal. But can I do it? If so, when will I truly give up all things material in the world?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Plush Toy?

Friday, April 03, 2009

Malaysia's New CRIME Minister

If these 2 are not ashamed


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Spun Round and Round

As much as I was a Kylie fan, I had never like Spinning Around much until I heard this concert version. Smartly remixed with Cheryl Lynn's Got to be Real, which has now become my top-play, these 2 great dance/disco anthems are a match made in heaven. I just wish Kylie made a CD of this concert because I really really hope to have this track as mp3 so that I can blast it from my N95. The costume is brilliantly made reminiscent of music video Spinning Around itself, where Kylie makes golden hot pants a smash hit worldwide.

Another concert remix that really has me going is Madonna's remix of Music and Disco Inferno, the love child being Music Inferno. Not only it's fierce, this kind of fierceness can only come from the Queen herself (and her team) - whoever the person that came up with the idea of mixing these 2 pieces of iconic songs has my hat off to him/her.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Let’s Talk About S3X

I have a problem with sex. I have a problem with people’s attitude towards sex.

I have always thought no more about mankind that it’s all about sex. About procreation. About love being just chemical reactions and lust being the under-acknowledged side effect. I can be very cynical about love, that’s it’s no more than a physical (i.e. protein in your body) illusion that make you shut up about the pain of raising a child with a husband that’s alcoholic, bad-tempered and fat.

My point is that so many things have been sexed up. A lot of things in our life have been associated with sex.

A sexy sale person. Understandable.

A sexy bartender. Even more understandable.

A sexy sex-worker. Need I say more?

What is so in my face, is that even a couch can be sexy. OK, I hear you say people may be induced to have sex in it. I’ll let you have that.

What about a sexy car? A car? Sexy? Something that’s cold, metallic and boxy reminds you of sex?

What about a sexy mobile phone? You often hear “sexy” thrown into anything. Selling something by putting sex into it has never been more evident nowadays. Even a mobile can be sexy? Perhaps this is what people talk about – acceptance eh? Even though I don’t quite get it but I should assume some people do get aroused by a mobile phone?

If you think that my definition of sexiness is that literal – I admit it, as I don’t know what else to think of when people use the word sexy. Are you even surprised that human sexual activities now involve having sex with a car?

What else is sexy that you hear in your daily life? We’ve so far covered cars, mobile phones and furniture. Why not throw in a sleek and sexy laptop to spice things up once in a while?

Let’s go to the most obvious one – clothes. I think we human create lots of problems for ourselves. We’re such conflicted energy patterns! Let’s just picture an office scenario where a married manager just sees his secretary with clothes that you would call sexy (as you’re told when you see the advertisement that the clothes have such an effect). Day in and day out, this man is stimulated but not taken care of. Every minute he’s reminded of sex, of sex that he’s not having. Can you really blame him for having an office affair?

So why are we worried about children maturing much early physically? Apart from food that we eat, like I say above children are exposed to sex much earlier than those people selling sex now. People are also hypocritical – whilst we allow these sexy intonations reverberate loudly in our daily life, we condemn nude paintings of a child.

I feel so confused living in our society. Whilst a penis or vagina or even butt and breasts are pixelated on TV, we’re screaming of sex by all other means. For what? Just to sell products. Just to abuse consumer psychology.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Sleepless Beauty

Have not slept well in the past few nights.. Mom, bro and I all woke up at about 5am on Monday morning. Didn’t know what happen actually, Mom said she had heard a frog yapping (I don’t how does a frog sound in English) away… The night before – I woke at 5am because I had just had a bad dream about my bro. We were fighting as he had done something wrong, I scolded him, he drove/ran away, things were smashed, I might have cried… And I found tear stain at the corner of my right eye when I looked in the mirror.

Again, it was an early morning today. I tried to stay in bed till 6.45am. It’s 11.45pm now and I am waiting to fly to Melbourne. It’s way past my bedtime and I normally don’t sleep well sitting. Perhaps I knew I would be missing home, hence the dream and sleepless-ness.

I don’t know what to feel going back to Melbourne this time. In my heart, 95% of me doesn’t really care about what may or may not happen with AIG. I already gave up when I decided to go back to Malaysia in Dec. No matter how hot it is in Tanah Merah, how fierce the mosquitoes are, how long-winded my Dad is, home is still home.

this post was incomplete some time in Jan/Feb 2009 – I decided to post it anyway…

Hardest Task

Climbing the Everest? Giving up a kidney for your mother (the daughter of a friend of my Dad did this)? Or simply resisting temptation of a chocolate-glazed donut?

Have you ever considered forgiving yourself? For whatever experience that you might have suffered from, or inflicted upon others, or being inflicted on by others.

At times, the reason we can’t let go of something is because we haven’t forgiven ourselves. We can forgive others easily. Being self critical is one thing; being ignorant to the truth is another.

I was watching Oprah the other day. A female deputy sheriff was being raped by her husband. And an ex-beauty queen also being raped by her husband. I found from the interviews that we never/seldom admit to ourselves, not even to people whom we’re very close to, that we have done something stupid. It’s so shameful and hard to admit that we indeed have made a wrong decision and are now afraid to stand up to admit it, let alone if it has the opportunity to drive our lives to misery.

Elton John also says “Sorry” is the hardest word and Chicago agrees that it’s hard to say one’s sorry – Sorry to oneself is even harder than apologizing to others. We can’t forgive ourselves for making a mistake, a mistake which in our own hindsight is so not worth making. And ever since, we hope to eradicate any consequence or even go as far as reversing the situation – all but futile.

Yes we know where we have fallen and we’ve learned our mistaken but our memory is forever imprinted with the mistake and the shame that comes with it. It is so critical to tell ourselves to give up hope of changing the course of history. Whatever you do now, to yourself, is basically self-punishment. But what’s the point of beating oneself when the outcome is invariable.

Friday, March 27, 2009









A clearer version here.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Come back please come back

I am missing Priscilla: Queen of the Desert so much - what a magnificient musical it was. I should have watched it again in Melbourne. I hope it comes back to Melbourne soon.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Portia Sorry for Marrying Ellen

A Lezzie-Affair to Remember

Kiss- Attempt 3

“I guess you haven’t heard about that.”

“She’s a dyke, too?”

“Well,” said Mary Ann. “She had an affair with a woman. Does that make her a dyke?”

“It does if she did it right,” DeDe replied.

Taken from Armistead Maupin’s Further Tales of the City.

Had the kiss continued, would the lives of my two best friends have taken a totally different direction? Maybe I would even be asked to be the father to their child(ren)?

I really admired them for braving themselves for the kiss. I guess that’s about the craziest thing they have ever done, intimately. Moon, what were you thinking when you bought that poster?

I want a rematch!!! A re-kiss! Those lips have been apart for what, more than 4 years! Eric could use some lesbianic stimulation too!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My favourite things

It just puzzles me stupidly as to why would Pope Benedict and most churches around the world detest the use of condoms. Understandably they are upholding their “pro-life” campaign/belief.

My question is, just spurred by watching Big O, that since they believe that children are god-send, would the use of condom stop the almighty?

Really if you think about it, since god works in mysterious way and even virgin Mary got preggy by staying a V, how does someone stop pregnancy by using a condom? It would just be in vain wouldn’t it?

God: I want Amy xxx to be pregnant

Amy xxx: I will wear a condom on my partner

God to Gabriel: Strike a lightning on the condom when they have intercourse

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Family portraits

We have yet to take one. I hope we do it soon before all our best features are lost to time.

Every species has its own set of rules governing the development and continuity. We learn by example. We learn by imitating the energy patterns of others. People often say they are turning into their parents.

It’s quite evident with my Dad as he’s sometimes my grandpa. With my Mom, I can’t say too much because I didn’t spend much time at all with my maternal grandparents.

I think I am turning into my parents more than I dare to admit. Being controlling, opinionated, OCD, critical… From what I have seen, it is plausible that despite popular belief (Other factors being media and peer), parental influence is the most significant mould that a child grows in. Just compare ourselves to animals, all the younglings learn from the parents – we are not excluded.

We look up to our parents in almost every situation when we’re young. There are intrinsic values inevitably implanted on our minds by our parents’ actions. No matter how much you love or despise your parents, there will be a part of you that imitates them. Just think about the ways you treat your partners, friends, siblings and even yourself.

It is not easy being a parent. A penguin parent has to swim in the sea for 20 hours a day to gather enough food for its family. How much more can it teach its younglings in 4 hours? The question which is not easy to answer and which most people are not aware of it – are we fit to become parents? How well can you answer this question? Children are easily impressionable – whatever parents do will be copied consciously or not.

The education system we have is focused on how you fish in the ocean for 20 hours a day. Continuity of life is such an immense task. A child molester, who has been molested him/herself – can a judge put all the blame solely on this person? Or are there more perpetrators? From the point of contract – do we have to be responsible for contributory negligence?

How much of your parents is living in you?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Excuses Excuses!

Paul: I can’t go to the gym. It’s too hot.

Lawrence: But the gym is air-conditioned…

Paul: Yeah, but I still know how hot it is outside.

Taken from DNA #110.

I am a Paul. Even though I do go swimming when it’s 12C outside, I would come up with a lot of excuses if I had decided to go to the gym or for a run. It would go like this…

Alfred: I can’t go to the gym. It’s too cold.

Lawrence: But the gym is air-conditioned…

Alfred: Yeah, but it’s stuffy in the gym coz of the heating. And it is cold walking to the gym.

Honestly, I can’t run – I have never been able to run consistently.

Alfred: I can’t go for a run. It’s too hot.

Lawrence: But you can wear sunnies.

Alfred: Yeah, but… Yeah… But…. Yeah, but, yeah, but! I hate the dangling keys in my pocket.

I think it’d be motivating if I married someone who had more excuses that I would. I love showing off that I am better.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My favourite Things

One of them is criticising religion.

Recently Pope Benedict spoke about the use of condom, which in his opinion would fuel AIDS pandemic. Wow, such an insight.

So, does it mean the church’s pro-life principle propagate births of HIV-infected babies? This is something that I can’t get through my thick skull – they always talk about a child is god-sent and his or her faith is tested by the path chosen by god. When a baby grows up, how do you answer his/her question, “God wants to test me by giving me AIDS?”.

First of all, what does a child know about faith? Does a baby develop faith already when s/he is in the womb? So in order for me to believe how mysterious god’s ways are, I have to accept that god injects both HIV virus and faith into an embryo upon conception? How do you tell that to so many African children, who will probably not live past 20 years old. If a woman or a man is HIV+, why does god still want to give him/her a baby? As if testing the faith of an adult isn’t enough that a baby is put on the line too?

Sitting in such a high position, one can’t be help being ignorant. A very funny question – according to most faiths, Christianity included, everything is made by god; if we build a rocket and hope it’ll fly to Venus, we know it’ll depend on god’s endorsement – so, isn’t the invention of condom a not so mysterious way of god telling us to use it? That’s why I cannot accept religion – one way they are always so righteous about something but then totally inconsistent about other.

If it is not god’s way, why are there rubber trees? It also begs the very very question – who put HIV virus among us? I can’t help wondering why put so many people on earth (and deplete all the resources) only to bring them back to his bosoms? Is it some sort of an accelerated “life” that god puts people on a hot HIV train?

I have said it before, if god wants everyone back to heaven or hell, why do doctors save lives? Is IVF god’s way too? If god makes someone barren or shoot blanks, you think medical intervention will not earn you a strike in his book? And church also stands against abortion.

Perhaps the pope should try use his penis once to find out why people have to use condoms to enjoy his creations. I don’t know why people don’t ask how come the Pope can’t have sex or children? If his genes are so good for mankind, wouldn’t it make sense for the Pope to have more children to spread god’s love?

If it’s god’s way to get people back to heaven or hell, how are we supposed to stop it? And why would we if heaven is better than earth?

Monday, March 09, 2009

this is what I am talking about!

With Nora leading the dramatic role, I am sure Mama Nora will bring back the heat! Let's slap some bitch's face! Better than last week's Robert-Kitty shit.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Come back already B&S!!!!

Big episode Sunday March 1 - 2-hour movie event... One death and one birth... who'll it be???

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Old lady turns me OFF

So I was swimming…. There was a Chinese lady in her 60s in the pool too. I had always felt peculiar towards this woman as she always brought a bucket to the pool with her.

So yesterday, she finished swimming and got out of the water. I am no peeping Tom but I couldn't help it when I saw her filling the bucket up with water from a tap at the side of the pool. I had not paid attention to her before except yesterday as I was intrigued.

Like a magician, I suddenly saw a small plastic cup being held under the tap and she drank the water. OK she must be thirsty, I thought, which was reasonable…. beats drinking chlorinated pool water right?

She didn’t stop there. Next I saw her picking up the bucket and walked towards another side of the pool house. She then proceeded to do the unthinkable – she used the water to clean herself!!!! You’ve guessed it right – she used the cup to pour water down her body!!! I noticed she tried to stand close to the glass wall and further away from the pool, but the water inevitably flowed into the pool!!!

And you think she would stop there… Of course, I can only imagine it’s uncomfortable being in a wet swim suit. This woman of 60 years, changed under her robe, which was followed by, more water in the bucket, and she washed her swim suit in the bucket of water!!!! I nearly drowned myself by now.

What killed me next was that after finishing her washing, she then splashed the washing water against the glass wall. I was drowning in her “after-wash”, literally,

God, not only she’s old, she’s slow!!!! Keeping in mind that I still had a very small reserve of respect for old birds, I tried to stay in the pool as long as I could fight off every urge to get out of the water, but her movements exhibited true definition of slowness.

Rest assured, I used very strong shower gel that day.

Not a good time to have a tongue twister



On another note, when I found out my friend’s mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer and had gone through a mastectomy,  I felt terribly sorry and gave her a hug. I also said,
“Please give her my breast”.

Whilst we’re on the penis, pardon me, peanut matter. I argued with my sister before about airlines serving penis, bollocks, of course I meant peanuts, that I disagreed with such a service as people with a penis (OK I can’t help it) peanut allergy may find themselves having allergic attacks in 36000 miles above ground.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

there was my invite???

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Academy Award 2009

My crystal ball says…

Best Picture Nominees: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader and Slumdog Millionaire.

My pick would be Slumdog, which combines drama, comedy and romance all in one. The script was believable and all the actors, especially the young ones were amazing. The Bollywood dance at the end of the movie was a nice nice touch. People who have grown up watching Bollywood movies will remember this scene fondly.

I have not watched Frost/Nixon. I would say Benjamin Button and The Reader are tied for second place. Both are haunting and surreal, from the storyline. Milk was actually disappointing – it’s more like a documentary instead of a feature film.

The directors of the same movies above are nominated for best directors. I am divided between Slumdog and The Reader.

As for Best Actress, Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married) gave a really strong and different performance but perhaps a little bit well-controlled when I had expected her to go wilder. I haven’t watched Angelina Jolie in Changeling nor Melissa Leo in Frozen River. Meryl Streep gave quite a standard performance in Doubt but the layers peeled too late in the movie whilst I had expected the drama to unfold earlier. Kate Winslet is whom I would put my money on for her role in The Reader – she portrayed a lady who was willing to die for being shameful of just being illiterate. And it’s about time that Kate won one after being nominated 6 times.

I felt that Penelope Cruz was really different and she gave a break-through performance in Vicky Cristina Barcelona (though I thought the story sucked). I wanted to watch her performance in Volver, for which she was also nominated, but the version I downloaded was without subtitles. Amy Adams portrayed a young naive nun very very nicely in Doubt; whilst Viola Davis had a short air-time for being the mom of a gay (black) boy she managed to get the point across for being scared of her homophobic husband and wanting for the son to just survive. I was surprised to see Taraji P Henson play Benjamin’s mother and it was a pleasant surprise. So of all these four fabulous supporting actresses, my pick would be Amy Adams, for being young, inexperienced, scared but still trying to stand up for what she believed in.

Other Oscar nominations: here.

Friday, January 16, 2009


can actually mean Worth Waiting For… you can engrave that on a watch and give it to your loved one.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Father Figure?

I think our relationships with our father have deteriorated lately, more so lately. By ours, I mean my siblings and mom and a cousin who still lives with us.

What seems to be the problem? Is it ours or is it his? Can I hate him whilst still living under his roof? Is that why I have been desperately struggling for my way out? Is it Mom whom I am worried about? Children may get out but the wife… that seems to be the trap of wedding vows. What if I get out but my siblings get stuck? Do I encourage them to get out too? Or should I be selfish and be happy as someone is there to bite the bullet?

So why is it so hard? What seems to be unbearable? After years of analysing… I have to put part of the blame on my grandfather. My father didn’t grow up having fatherly acknowledgement as my grandpa had 2 families. I think my Dad struggled for his whole life to be acknowledged by someone, anyone.

Why would I say that – grandpa used to be mean to Dad yet Dad took good care of him, despite grandpa openly expressed his hatred for him in front of his children of the other wife. Grandpa didn’t like or appreciate anything that Dad did for him. Dad even shouldered some responsibilities that grandpa should have, like taking care 6 children left behind by my uncle when he died of cancer. Dad was only 19 and he had to give up school. Despite being shoved into hot oil against all his will, Dad became successful in business.

As long as I can recall, Dad has been telling EVERYONE about his life story. How he gave up taking SPM, how he sacrificed his adoptive family (he was staying with an uncle) to come help his brother etc.. Everyone, ranging from a passenger on a train to a relative – his life story is played on repeat, which goes on and on. Just recently we attended a wedding and were seated with someone whom we didn’t know. After five minutes, they too learned of Dad’s life story.

Fishing for compliment aside, Dad constantly seeks approval and acknowledgement. Sometimes I am so angry at him for repeating his stories – as if he’s pressuring us in living our lives his way. I want to be respectful and grateful but whenever he praises himself, it annoys me. A 60-year-old man, who doesn’t understand how annoying he is, I think that is really shameful.

Dad never really understands or is emphatic about someone else. Everything he does, he claims that he understands about others’ feelings – but he only cares about his. For example, if he buys you breakfast, he won’t have asked you before but he’ll just buy whatever HE wants and EXPECTS you to like it. If you don’t, he’ll quote one of his most-frequently used sayings, one that has earned platinum frequent flying points, that 你不会做人 (you don’t know how to be a human or understanding).

Everyday, he complains and boasts about how early he has to get back to the office, boil water and make big pots of tea for everyone. He claims that he’s very busy yet he still does it. Is that not fishing for compliments? So when I am back in Malaysia, I drink tea, even cold one, 24/7. If you have guessed, you will have guessed correctly – if you don’t drink, again, 你不会做人. If mom or cousin makes other drinks, he’ll purposely not drink what they have made and purposely make more tea. Is that not jealousy? Is that not fishing for compliments? How do I tell a 60yo man that he’s utterly a child?

Whenever I work with, under or for him, there’s only one thing you will get out of it – that he is experienced and he’s done it many times. Every sentence that comes out of his mouth will either start or end with that. Every instruction that comes out of his mouth, I just wish he would shut up. Just STFU. Nowadays, no one pays attention to him anymore. We’re all scared of him. Not the bomb-will-kill-you kind of scare, it’s the we don’t want wake up a tipsy, easily annoyed, old giant, who may just yell at you with tonnes of 道理. How does one learn under a boss who is ever only so proud of what he has done? How does one listen when all one hears is “I’ve done this many times, I am so experienced in this….” – it is repeated endless times daily. It even happens when we are grocery shopping!!!! That he can choose the best products as he’s seen it all.

I can still run and escape as long as I am not in the same vehicle with him. It is the worst pain imaginable when one is in the same vehicle with him. He says everything at least twice. He says everything again and again from what’s happened yesterday, last year, 10, 20 or 30 years ago. Whenever he’s onto something or hates someone, that’s all he talks about, which can go on for years. He used to hate my aunty, so all we heard about was how lazy she was. He used to hate my other cousin, so all we heard about was how cunning he was. He didn’t like how Mom treated one of their staff, he would just tell his thoughts on it again and again, even thought the event took place two years ago.

Dad is a person that doesn’t listen and doesn’t bow down. He is stubborn and that often leads to others being blamed or ignored. Just because he can’t listen or even bother to entertain others’ ideas. All he thinks is right. Everyone else, nope. When someone does something wrong, you know it’ll become a radio hit song for a long time; if he makes a mistake, you know it’s a one-hit wonder. Whenever he says something, he can’t take it back because he loves face and he can’t lose.

It is like hell whenever we have big dinna with extended families. Dad doesn’t know how to estimate the amount of food to be ordered but he always wants to do it. He would say, I’ve ordered lots of food – most of the times he under-ordered, others over. It is funny how he can be so, how do I put it, hard to deal with. If he has in mind that he’s ordered for 12 person and only 10 are attending, he will invite relatives whom we rarely speak to, just to make it worth his money. It always ends up all of us feeling embarrassed. He can’t take back what he has thought, not only what he has said! When the food ordered isn’t enough, he doesn’t want to order extra. In his mind, everything has to be the way he’s thought it’d be. Every time we have dinna outside, it usually ends sourly due to what he says or acts. He always affects our mood badly.

I do think we seldom give him compliments or approvals in recent years. But I dunno how we can do it if it’s not reciprocated. He really admired one of my cousins who used to work for him. Every thing she did matched his way of thinking. So almost every other day, he would bring up the topic of how good my cousin was and how inadequate the rest of us are. If we ever do mention some wonderful things other men/fathers have done, he would quickly and fervently dismiss and deny it. The same thing goes for when we mention how profitable a particular business someone else is doing.

Is our problem expectation? Are we expecting something unrealistic from him? Are we wishing for him to be someone he’s not? Is he doing the same thing? Life is really no fun with him. Almost everything we do must be economical. Almost everything we do must be according to his ways. He has the anal tendency of going against what you say, just to prove that he can do something. Whenever you say something, he must say or do otherwise.

I feel like shouting at him at times, especially he claims that how well-liked he is amongst his school mates. I think he’s missing the point that those people do not share his life. Those people do not live with him. How would you feel if someone constantly tells you how to pick up bits of food left on the table? His royal way is to tear a small bit of tissue paper and pick the food bits up, one by one. You will be told not to use a table cloth because it’s not economical. During the monsoon season, how would his friends feel if they are asked to wipe the cars EVERY TIME after they have got in the rain? Even if it’s at 2a.m.? It is OK you don’t do it – but you will get an earful the next morning – of how persistent he is, of how he has been successful by being disciplined his whole life. I still remember when we first got our pet dogs, he would report every time he picked up after the dogs or after he fed them. The busier he is, the more he wants to do, the more he wants to boast about. What is wrong with this man? He claims that he’s the busiest person, yet he won’t let us do something that we can do.

I don’t know whose father thinks like this: we’re not allowed to switch on lights when we’re not at home. Not even when it’s dark or when we can’t see. He joined a voluntary army team before and he got a gun. He said he would be happy for thieves to rob our house so that he could use the gun. So when we get home at night, there’s nothing to be seen really. He hates us wasting electricity, but we subscribe to 2 Astro!! One at home and one at office, which no one watches really. When I wanted to cancel some shows subscribed, guess what happened? Even the one at home, he (hence us), only watches one channel. The subscription for an account is over RM120 per month. Our electricity bill is over RM200 per month. He wants to save electricity but he doesn’t care about spending on fuel. We have 3 cars, two of them can’t be in the rain. So every day, in addition to his already busy business life, he has to strategise which car WE can and cannot drive. He would even call from office just to tell you which one to drive. If it rains and only one car can be driven, he doesn’t mind making rounds just to transport us, as long as only one car is used and other don’t get wet.

Perhaps I can already write an autobiography or a real-life story. Mom certainly can be the biggest contributor. I think my father really needs to read more and interact more with others. But what’s the use and what’s the success rate? Every time he opens his mouth, he talks about himself. I will not be very surprised if he is treated by us the way his father was treated by his other half siblings – abandoned, for my grandpa was a very difficult person too. My grandma said to him before she died, that his life would be very difficult if she died first. She was right.

I don’t know if I should be complaining seeing that we are financially sufficient, provided by Dad. I should be content but I am not. I used to enjoy family dinner but I no longer do. Each time it feels like I am treading on a miners field. In others’ ears, I may have sounded like an unappreciative son of a gun but that’s how I feel. I really feel for Mom and I feel really selfish if I run away from home and have Mom alone with him, feeling miserable for the rest of her life.

One can’t choose one’s parents and one’s children. But how do I deal with this? I’ve begun to under why some people choose not to live with their parents or in laws, and why this is more prevalent amongst westerners. They are smarter. Yes, there are perks for living with your parents, it’s just perhaps they are may not be worth it; for everyday I no longer wish to be with my father as spending time with him is really an emotional torture.


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