it's a world of roses out there....

The heck with it - originally I didn't wanna show off, but these new creations are screaming to be seen and to be complimented - who am I to deny such noble form of self-admiration and vanity?

how long...

I'm the sort of person that is anal about checking my email. Is this a way of me screaming for attention? I gotta remind myself - email isn't love (aka food isn't love).

I think the longest I have gone without checking my email is probably one to two weeks. Am I gonna looking for a cyber cafe when I am travelling in, say, India? No, perhaps India is too high-tech to allow me ample access. And India is not one of my must-visit countries. How about Morocco? Sounds perfectly foreign and nothing like I've ever been before. How long do you think I'll last without going crazy for not getting access to the internet?

If internet coverage is available on some islands, would you bring together with you your laptop on your holiday? And how long do you think you'll last without internet?

梅迎冬，我却何去何从

From the other end of the phone there came a familiar and well-missed voice. When my parents told me to enjoy and appreciate the time I had while I was still a student, I didn't quite believe them. But I do now - you'll learn to treasure things or people when you have lost them, the sour grapes are always perceived to be better.

I'm now questioning my decision that I made at the end of 2005. My decision to reside in a still-foreign land. A land that most of my close friends have fled from. Does my resolution of waiting half a year still stand? Will I make up more excuses to stay?

Like she said, it's hard when you can't just pick up the phone or to meet those you think who know you, whenever you need them. Things are OK most of the times, at least on the surface. But sometimes it just gets to you. Like a hidden thorn. I try to stay strong but I can't really bank on keeping cool will not make me stone cold.

山从水复疑无路，柳暗花明又一村?
心焦意摇志消沉，望穿秋水何时了。

just suddenly

am in a mess of papers, scissors, card boards, ribbons, wrappers and more papers... And the sun is blazing its alpha & beta rays from millions of kilometers away - sending warmth everywhere. Yes it's getting warmer now. Summa is coming!

But I don't want summer to come. Suddenly I am missing winter. Would it be great if it was winter everyday? Perhaps there would be less skin cancer patients?

I want winter - despite heavy and cumbersome winter clothing, I can hide everything underneath them. I can eat like no tomorrow when excuse myself with I need the fat for the cold. I can also escape gym with I'll go when summer is closer.

Summer is coming and I need to get my lazy bum into shape! Perhaps the treadmill is already snearing at me. Summer is coming and I need to get my skinny arms into bulkier trunks! Summer is coming and I need to flatten my tummy! Summer is coming and I need to get some new sunscreen from Shiseido!

Perhaps I need to find a second home in Europe or Canada when it's getting colder now.

What The?

Blind Person: Hi, could you please point me to the toilet?

Security Guard (or anyone): Yes of course. Now let me bring you to this wall. At the end of this wall, you'll find the braille signing you to where the toilet is.

Blind person: (as guard guiding his hand onto the wall) Start here?

Guard: Yes, start touching and feeling from here to your right.

Blind person: Is it the male toilet?

Guard: Yes, you will find that the sign will say so too.

Guard: (thinking aloud) Who would care? Even if you went into the opposite-sex toilet, what could you possibly see?

Alf: I just realised how hard it is for a blind person to even go to toilet. Given that they were able to locate the toilet after touching all the great walls, how would they find the cubicles or urinal bowls/stand? A woman could still sit on a toilet bowl; but a man who would pee into the urinal bowl... The toilet cleaner would have a hell lot to mop, not to mention the possibility of someone slipping on some yellow liquid!

Hmmmm... it ain't that bad afterall?

Let's see if I can find a title to this post at the end of writing it. Just feel like I need to write something now.

So I was arriving back in the city after work at about 2.30pm. Decided not to go home so I went for a walk at the bank of Yarra river holding a cone of New Zealand ice-cream. It was such a nice day with the sun coming in and out of the clouds. It was still winter but I thought I could smell the springy-ness in the air. Bracing myself in the still-chilly wind I strutted along the river bank, watching the world went by.

And then I found myself sitting down at Taxi, sipping a lemon-lime bitter. I had not done so for quite some time - enjoying the sun and wind. I think from the look of the picture, I was looking contended with myself, despite other parts of my life were still trying to catch up.

Funny thing is I never allow myself to be happy for too long. The bathroom scale showed that I had gained 1-2kg last night. But I dismissed it as I found out that the scale had an error. After correcting it tonight I knew I couldn't hide it anymore. Two weeks of hay fever have done too much damage to my was-going-to-be-flatter-I-swear tummy. I know I can pull myself back, (",) - not gonna be one that let myself go when confronted with less-than-ideal situation.

Life is still good - and since I'm here now I want to start something that I have been wanting to do for so long. A gratitude diary - I first saw it on Oprah. So there you go. I wanna thank myself (LOL first entry in the gratitude diary I wanna thank myself?!) for not giving up on myself. Maybe sometimes I don't feel like I am good enough or just too up-myself some other times, I know I will always improve. Secondly I wanna thank my parents genes for being OK when they passed it down to me. I appreciate the way I am - when I look around and find people who are less fortunate physically than I am.

That's all for now. Another beautiful day awaits!

Dreamlover come rescue me!!

OMG - I told one of my best frens about the dreams that I had been having. While I thought of nothing more serious than they were just my dreams - he identified the themes in my dreams, which were school and high school.

What he did was looking up some dream interpretations and the following was sent to me. I feel that they are quite accurate given the current drwnd wrld situation that I'm in.

Dream Dictionary
School
To dream that you are in school, signifies feelings of inadequacy and childhood insecurities that have never been resolved. It may relate to anxieties about performance and abilities. You may also be going through a "spiritual learning" experience. If you are still in school and dream about school, then it will naturally serve as a backdrop to your dream world. Alternatively, a dream that takes place in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life.

High School
To dream about high school, refers to the bounds and friendships that you made while you were in high school. What spiritual lessons have you learned? The dream may also be telling you that you need to start preparing for the real world. To dream that you have to repeat high school, suggests that you are doubting your accomplishments and the goals that you have already completed. You feel that you may not be measuring up to the expectation of others. The dream may occur because some recent situation may have awakened old anxieties and insecurities.

Drwnd Wrld

I hv bn qt nctv ltly - n mny wys. Lst, cnfsd, wrrd, bl whl pttng n n K fc. I m ll ths thngs. N tp f tht, my fnncl rsrcs hv bn dply dpltd s mch s tht I jst tld Chryl tht my bnk ccnt blnc ws 0. ZR!!


Smtms whn I fl lk ll hp s lst, I bcm qt n scpst. I wnt t brd th nxt MH149/129 bck t Mlys. Wtht PR chncs f gttng a jb hv bcm vn slmmr. I gt n ntrvw in bldy Bllrt with NB. Tht's rlly fckng fr. I trnd t dwn vntlly. I wldn't gt t nywy wtht PR nd I wldn't wnt t mv t Bllrt. Wht dd I jst d - trnng dwn smthng tht mght b th bggst chnc f my lf? nd gt blcklstd by NB? Bt I jst flt mch lghtr whn I dcdd to wthdrw my applctn.


nthr thng tht hs md m ngry ws tht th lndlrd hs ncrsd r rntl gn. t s lrdy th thrd tm n a yr nd ths tm h bldy ncrsd t by $50 a wk! I knw tht th rntl mrkt s tght bt $50 nd s frqntly? t dds nthr dmnsn f ncrtnty t my lf. t ls pt a thnkng cp n my hd tht t smd ncssry t rn s mch $$$ s sn s pssbl s tht I cld lv ndr my wn rf.


S fr, lf hs md m rls 2 thngs: w rly t mch n cnvnc nd th scfc my prnts & fmly hv md t llw m t cm s fr. Snc I hv t mch tm n hnd, I thnk bt lf vry mrnng - jst tk wshng my fc wth wrm wtr by jst trnng n th wtr tp, hw cld ppl frm th 40s d s? Ppl frm th 1900s stll prbbly hd to d thr nmbr 2 by a rvr - whn w nw jst flsh. nd thn trnng n th stv t ck - ppl frm th pst hd t cllct fr wd, rb tw pcs f rcks t crt sprks bt nw w hv gs spply jst s sly. n wntr, w'd jst trn n a htr whrs th cv ppl shvrd nd trmbld n frzng tmprtr. I rlly wnt t try t cnsrv nd prsrv bcs I dn't rlly thnk I'm wrth ll ths lxrs tkn frm th rth fr grntd.

I thnk I nd t stp ths pst bfr I g crzy wth th omssn f ll vwls. Lt m knw f y hv rd vrythng p t ths pnt nd ndrstd vrythng I'v sd - y dsrv a cmplmnt tht "Y rlly cr bt m nd y hv t mch tm!!!"

You Can't Stop the Beat

I just watched Hairspray!!! It was super fantastic! I had my expectations all wrong. I had thought that Zac Efron and Nikki Blonsky were going to be big. But I was wrong! John Travolta with her larger-than-life Edna Turnblad stole the focus everytime she appeared on the screen. I was totally blown away by the last scene when Edna took the stage in a red & golden bling bling skirt.

I was, expectedly, singing along with the movie the whole way. Who could blame me? I had been listening to and learning the soundtrack for 2 weeks! My sis and frens said they all could hear me. Oh dear... I think I was watching the movie in my own world.

I was really glad that this movie was made. Such an inspiring and entertaining piece of work. The bling and the fling and the colours were all my favourite. I especially loved the suit & pants worn in the 60s. They looked so kool.

This movie also represents the passing of the baton from John down to Zac - perhaps the next big thing in Hollywood, if not already. John made his name in the biggest musical film ever - Saturday Night Fever. And having already had High School Musical under his belt, Zac was not afraid to profess to the world that he loved singing and dancing. The movie also highlights 3 different generations of the hollywood heavyweights, namely the veterans John Travolta & Michelle Pfieffer, the middle-aged James Marsden & Queen Latifah and of course the rising stars Nikki Blonsky and who-else Zac Efron.

Speaking of star - Stardust is on next week!

Do not scream for your bday card!

I think with more birthdays coming up from now till the end of the year. Family and friends. I don't think my I have enough muses to carry me through. Not wanting to repeat myself is the biggest challenge yet.

I think I have been making cards for special occassions since I can remember. It is such a great honour that Dad makes the effort to treasure all those cards we have made for them since young. When I was last at home I picked a few of those cards and put them into photo frames, so as to glorify them. Haha.


Anyway, please do not scream for your bday card OK? I have got a couple of new ideas now. Am particularly excited about one of them as it's disco related. However I don't think I'll give that to anyone if it comes out close to my expectations. Save the best FOR MYSELF!