Sunday, August 17, 2008

Gordon Ramsay must be jealous!

Shit-ful swore on Quran to prove that he'd been indeed rooted by Anwar.

Mahathir also challenged Anwar to do the same to prove his innocence.



They really thought that the Quran is like the diary from JK Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", where Voldermort has split his soul into several parts and stored a part in a diary.

The diary will SPEAK! The Quran will speak!

Shit-ful was shitty enough to swear on the Quran. When even Mahathir said the same thing, you have to wonder the intention behind that supposedly intelligent mind.

Of course, Osama bin Laden will also swear on the Quran when he's finally caught.

Of course, all the 1st-degree murderers serving life-sentence in jails all over the world will now start to apply for Malaysian permanent residency and convert to Islam. They just have to swear on a book!

Should I call up Schapelle Corby's family and tell them such a great means for their daughter to prison-break? Hello, just an Air-Asia away from Bali to KL! The next hot-ticket item when you travel (and smuggle lovely powder across borders) is some religious book. It's more useful than a passport - any detective dog will have blocked nose when it sees a Quran/Bible (depending on which country you're going to).

Set as a precedence, David Hicks can swear on a Bible. Hell, with his connection to Osama bin Laden, he'll swear on both the Bible and Quran! Double wham-bam!

Back to Shit-ful, according to RPK, swearing on Quran isn't even a thing in Islam! Where's justice? So Anwar swears too, so both of them run free? Soon when Najis is finally linked to killing Altantuya and having anal sex, I'm sure he'll be another Quran-lifting champion, breaking all the Chinese records in Beijing 2008.

Have you ever wondered, as God always sent words down to his/her prophets, why doesn't s/he send an SMS to his/her believers when they are about to do something wrong? According to RPK, the Islam Prophet received revelation from God when he was figuring out how to solve accusation against his wife for committing adultery. If such revelation could be sent, why not a SMS to pre-criminal? Isn't it better to prevent than to cure? Optus would be very happy to be selling an iPhone to God. Good coverage in Australasia and Pacific regions.

Or you know, if God loves the believers, for example a woman, send her some wind to take her away when she's about to be raped! And not to tell her God works in mysterious ways when she's infected with HIV or pregnant. In Islam, Allah loves his believers so much that he asks a woman to produce 4 MALE eye-witnesses to charge the rapist (of course this represents an abuse of practice which was originally meant to protect the Prophet's wife). If this woman was gang-banged by 4 men, I assume she would have to find 16 men. If I were her, I would start charging for putting on a show and a good time! Might as well enjoy the ride and fill up the piggy bank on the way to orgasm. What's better than pay for 1, get 3 free! Safeway can't even beat that deal.

So Ramsay, remember to bring a Bible when you tape your next show. Just uphold it when you "fuck", then you won't be "tut"-ed.

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