Change of Wind

I do not know wot is going on in there.

I am feeling angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad, worried, lonely, confused, helpless and lost, all at the same time.

I snap, scream, and feel like choking someone or myself. There is an infinitely deep hole of emptiness in me screaming right at my face.

I can attribute each of those negatives specifically. Why am I so critical to others and myself? The biggest portion of my negativity plater will have A to answer most of it!

Our thoughts can do that to water - what do you think it can do to us? (c.f. "What the Bleep Do We Know?!")

Why? Who? How? When? What?

I was recommended by Aiden to watch "What the bleep do we know?!" a couple of weeks ago and I watched it just now.

I think it's very out of my level of knowledge and there are a lot of terms that I don't know. I also got lost in some part of the movie/documentary. Part of the story coincides with what I always believe; most of them alien but challenging and will definitely have a place reserved in my mind.

How far are you willing to go in the rabbit hole?

Quantum physics is believed to be the ultimate answer to questions about life, about the universe. I remember quite vividly my A-level lecturer teaching us about the atomic structure of an atom. This idea that has resided in me for 4-5 years now is being challenged! The nucleus, protons and clouds of electrons are just probabilistic statements. Why are we here? Are we here to show off our creativity? Are we here to create? To destroy? To destroy and to create at the same time? Actual experience is the realisation of a chance out of a million possibilities.

Now we relate our discussion to biological science. And I have to blend in the spiritual topic. We are addicts of emotion. Addiction means something that we do not have control of. The cells in our body have receptors for emotional attachments (peptides) that are generated from our brain (some part called the hippototamus =P). When we think - we shape the next generation of cell splitting, ie the types and amounts of peptide that we want the cells to take on.

There is also no god. We are all gods. We are what we are and we also are the consequences from the choices that others and we ourselves make. Therefore take responsibility for whatever we do! The show also made it very clear that coincides with the Buddism teaching - 色即是空，空即是色, ie what we see is all illusion.

There is no difference between what the eyes see and what we remember from memories - the brain generates the same chemical when we "see" the same thing in the screen of our minds. So what is reality? How do we learn of the reality? Can we jump out of us and observe as an outsider the reality?

So in the end - could we say that we are all addicts of some neurotic chemicals? My question is - if we practice Buddism like the monks where they go after life that has no intertwined threads with other beings, what would be the purpose of life? However, if what we see/imagine is just an illusion, what is the purpose of the change that we make?

I say NO to stupid junk comments!

Please do not junk-comment on my blog. Junk mail is already more than enuf to deal with. Back off!

Highlight of August 2005 - Fallscreek de tour

Ooooooo I love this pair of sunnies!! Aren't they kool?

It's a one-way trip - you either ski/board back down or roll down!!

Get ready ppl - gear up and here we go! Woooo0000000

Up we go and down we fall. Hahaha it was a fabulous trip guys!!

The feasting scene after a good old ski lesson

Sorry guys - y'all have been punk'd!!

Between Ass-bumping and Snow-fighting

Sis and I, waving it out - Welcome to Fallscreek.

That's wot I am talking 'bout!
Sorry for the repetition, can't delete.
Preparing to land, and...
Touchdown!!
We are the pro!! Professionals in getting sore bums. =D

Fallscreek - Bits of Fun and Chill

Our accommodation - Fallscreek Country Club
Poor man, but luckily you are now on my blog!

JK & Alf @ the Gully.

Behind me - Tubing Ski - it was fun!

The ride up to the Summit.
Alf on top; too bad the competition ended the minute we got off the lift ... =(

Wot does it say?

Fantastically Challenging - the 2005 Fallscreek survivor

Kissing my (snow)man

Yay, my 1st snowman!! Muakzzzzz

Screamed her lungs out, PJ or SS.

I think that was PJ sliding along the icy curve.
After a good old tubing-ski.
Hey guys! Hope you have fun up there!
Getting ready to leave Fallscreek with buckets of fond memories...We will be back!

Weather Up the Fallscreek

Now the weather report (imagine me as the weather boi):

It doesn't look good for the weather for theses 2 days:

rain easing+snow on peaks and snow showers.

It's looking pretty good for the coming weekend. Getting sunnier. Hopefully we'll get a clear view on Friday to Sunday.

iPods hearing threat

TEENAGERS tuning into iPods and other MP3 players are being told to turn down the volume or risk losing their hearing.

The warning from audio experts follows research showing up to 25 per cent of people using portable music players are listening at dangerous levels.

Researchers from the National Acoustics Laboratories analysed the listening habits of 55 people outside Flinders St station and Sydney Town Hall.

Most of those surveyed were aged 15-30, and the research showed males listened to their music louder than females.

The commuters used a range of portable stereos including iPods, MP3 players and Walkmans.
They concluded about one-quarter were putting their hearing at risk, based on the volume and length of listening time each day.

About 20 per cent of Australians have some degree of hearing impairment, while half the people aged 60-70 suffer hearing loss.

Previous studies have shown that workers exposed to 85 decibels for eight hours a day, five days a week, are at risk of hearing problems.

When asked what volume was safe, NAL director Prof Harvey Dillon said people should be able to hear others talking while listening to music through headphones.

"The rule of thumb is that if you're wearing them and you're listening to music, and people can't have a conversation with you, then it's too loud," Prof Dillon said.

"It doesn't matter whether it's an iPod, a portable CD player, a Walkman or a cassette player. It's the amount of sound coming out that counts, and how long you listen to it."

Hearing loss is irreparable, occurs gradually, and can take years, even decades, to take effect, he said. Ringing in the ears -- known as tinnitus -- is another potential danger of listening at loud levels for a long time. Prof Dillon was discussing the research at the launch of Hearing Awareness Week, which begins on Sunday.

Copyright

Herald Sun, 20 August 2005.

Falling on the sea of sheer soft white

Here I come Fallscreek - August 26 2005!Wanna make snowmen! I hope they'll turn alive. I am gonna feel soooo cold.

Cross your fingers - I'll come back, we all will, come back in 1 piece. Watch this space for more pictures!

I'll call that a day

Despite what everyone says, she denies and lies.

Threathens when she is forced, runaway bride to the US or to the graveyard.

Between blindness and ignorance, she lives like an antagonist in a fairly tale.

Even qualifies for 琼瑶's next all-world-is-against-me-to-be-with-this-man great epic of love story.

Childish and immature - how she thinks she is so not.

Jealous and heartless - how she thinks the protagonists are.

When reality bites, I am ready to lose a friend.

Might as well. The mental capability sets human apart when they don't see eye to eye.

I am in a fairy tale which dooms all long-distance online relationship and she is in the reality where love conquers it all.

A reality which is lived by her, him and a cable.

BB05

Latest BB05 winner - GREG!!! He's a great GREG. I knew he'd win the second Vesna was evicted on Sunday night. Tim came second - another great bloke. I luv them all! Esply the top three.

I just wanna say

I wish-cum-hope that I can say "Happy birthday babe, I love you..." soon to someone.

Beauty and the Best